He never minded that I was gun-shy and had no interest in anything more than some casual fun. They have to deal with family law and custody evaluators and therapists and judges and the courts. Five years and seven months after that fateful wedding day, I walked down the aisle again. The children are the best tool they have to get back at their partner. It was as if the past few months had happened to somebody else.
How is a divorce from a narcissist any different? There were still bits of wrapping paper stuck with Scotch tape on the side of one of the boxes. I just wished we had never gotten married in the first place. I hid away in my house until enough time had passed that I assumed the news was public knowledge. If you have someone in the middle of the spectrum, they might be able to be helped if they are open to really looking at themselves and their behaviors. You have to think of narcissism as a spectrum disorder. I think finding the right professionals who work together as a team is really important. I noticed it as he walked through our living room with them on the day he moved out. I thought we were just succumbing to the stress of wedding planning. They come into the relationship with this charming and very seductive beginning. You can only imagine the shock that happens for people when they get seduced into something they think is the best thing that ever happened to them and it turns into this kind of relationship. One day I was sitting alone on my couch crying over diaper commercials and the next I was laughing in the middle of the mall with my sister. As time went on, I realized that I was mourning something that never really existed. They seek revenge, and the court system is an incredibly great platform for a narcissist. I grieved the loss of that life almost as much as I grieved for what I expected to be my tainted future. The days and weeks following the divorce from my husband of four months were full of sadness and embarrassment. She has written a guide for people trying to extract themselves from narcissistic relationships. But that turns into emotional warfare. He never cared that I was an almostyear-old divorcee with a few cats. Waves of guilt would hit me as well. Five years and seven months after that fateful wedding day, I walked down the aisle again. I was leaning toward patterns and colors. In a fitting start to our lives as husband and wife, it rained almost every day of our honeymoon. Eventually when they seek a divorce, they find the attorneys and therapists and people who can help them. I had never been more miserable in my life than I was in the year leading up to that afternoon in the bar, but the end of my marriage was never the solution that I had hoped for.
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